The Idealism of Monogamy

Monogamy. Does it still exist? In this day and age where people are convinced that a marriage is no more than a temporary stopover until the next one comes along. Like a job perhaps, it makes sense to move on every couple of years to something nicer with better "opportunities".

Is Monogamy nothing more than an idealistic state of mind, a state of perfection where one strives towards but is convinced will never reach?

For monogamy to work, all it takes is a firm commitment from both parties. The idea of monogamy is not as complex as one might think. Respect each other and honor the trust that you have built. If you do not respect the sanctity of trust in a relationship, how do you expect your partner to do likewise? For if you truly love your partner and want what is best for him/her, start by ensuring that this trust is never broken.

Self-Fufilling Prophecies. Many of us have been in a relationship where we were subjected to betrayal and therefore we believe that we cannot expect such loyalty either from ourselves or a new partner. We then fall deeper into such relationships where it is "ok" to cheat on your spouse and for them to do likewise. As long as it is not spoken or acknowledge it in public, it's all good! In essence, we allow ourselves to accept the fact that our partner or spouse will cheat and thereby altering our actions to allow the eventuality of this happening.

Temptations. Resisting the temptation to cheat on your spouse is no different from resisting the many urges we face daily. As we mature in life, we have all been placed in a situation where we had to resist the temptation of stealing, shoplifting or even cheating in an exam. Yes, some of us have not been very successful, that includes me, but we have certainly learnt from the experience and cultivated our own prevention methods. Would we continue stealing into our adulthood? Most of us, wouldn't. Yet it seemed that while we were successful dealing with those urges, we fail to even recognize that cheating on a spouse or partner is probably worse! I have heard people commenting that like animals, we cannot control our basic desire of lust. PLEASE STOP KIDDING YOURSELF and trying to justify a reason for such actions. It is 100% possible to control your urges, focus it on who you should be focussing it on and live out a monogamous relationship for the rest of your life! The question remains, "Do you love your partner enough to do so?"

I met my wife more than 15 years ago. We have been happily married for the last 10 and I dare say that we have both been faithful to each other. It is possible. It is possible...